orange juice refills

december 21, originally uploaded by israelboyce.

arriving just in time for the Christmas eve service, still carrying my pack, and trying to find a seat, the first song that is sung is "ill be home for Christmas"

it still boggles me to think of the string of events that lead to this scene, sitting at church knowing that God is mysterious and so good at what He does.

i didn't have the funds to get home and the weather was below dying point for any hitch hiker in the northwest.

early saturday morning, my friend called me and said

'dude, no one should be away from home for Christmas, so i'm going to buy you a bus ticket'


you hear of these things happening...
or even do them, but rarely do they pop up and smack you in the face as this one did to me and my beard...

upon the day of departure, due to crazy snowy weather and the holiday season there was no buses headed out, or coming in.

the previous day at church, i found out that my friend's parents were headed to colorado springs on the same day as i was suppose to leave.

i contacted him, called his parents, and one thing let to another ending in me hitching a ride to denver to meet a couple friends who were headed to rapid on Christmas eve!

the only money spent on the trip was for an orange juice that i refilled at the motel the next morning.

i would like to say thank you to the smiths for their generosity and willingness to help me. thank you to all who were praying for me. and thank You God for showing me Your faithfulness again and again.

i spent Christmas with my mother for the first time in about three years.
and the food was sooooooo good!

thank you mom!

i hope all of you had an amazing Christmas and will have a safe but extravagant new years.

Father, You are amazing! may we trust You more and be put in awe as You show us Your greatness! i ask that all those lonely this year will find comfort, and all who have struggles on their heart will find rest.
amen

thank you for reading my thoughts and experiences, and enjoy your leftovers...

schnee und bull-log-nah

for 30hours it snowed... it snowed until just a few hours ago when everything that anyone shoveled, was covered...

it was so good though.

a total from 2 1/2 to 3 feet fell on spokane.

sally, the sally of tim and sally who i am staying with while here in washington, took this photo before daylight this morning as i was still sound asleep...

Zzzzzzz

and as the forecast predicts it's suppose to be flippin freezing saturday,

so

the snow

turns to ice

i'm not sure how, when, or if i will be able to get back for Christmas.

any ideas?... that don't involve many many $$$...

today has been really hard for me. i found myself second guessing everything, wondering about the reality of some friendships, accidentally paying $13.17 for a ringtone, et cetera... i think, in many ways, being very selfish in my thinking and actions.

in the words of pk of NHC, i'm not going to lie.

today felt like walking off a roof into a field of debt, empty laughs, and a world without friends. honestly...

but, even with the ughs, God shed some joy in my heart.

tim mentioned something to me just before he journeyed to la la land and i got on this hunk of plastic, metal and technology...

"what is the last miracle God did in your life, that you can remember?

i can think of two or three, but God does miracles in our life ALL THE TIME!"

so today, in the midst of all my selfish bull-log-nah, my Father gave me strength to shovel for hours, surrounded me with encouraging people, reminded me of the amazing family i have, and gave this massive miracle of der Schnee (the snow).

Father, please help us to see the miracles You perform in our lives. train our hearts to leap at the first sight of your doings. and thank You for all that You are doing ,especially the stuff we can't see. Let it be!

thank you for all of your prayers and your friendships.

Merry Christmas

blankets and a 4pack

i realized that my blogs have turned into short stories, which probably aren't exactly necessary to keep all of you updated on the progress, or Fortschritt... so i shall tone down on my roundabout ways of telling what is up!

last saturday i drove to washington, where i am currently hanging out and waiting before i travel back to sd for Christmas with my mom!
i sold my trooper two days ago, to a nice man that reminded me a lot of chris roth. so as for how i am getting back, we will see.

my time here has been really good. at first it started out slow... not interacting with many and feeling a bit awkward, but thanks to God, getting past myself and some reconciling it has turned out to be a time of great laughs and seeking what God has for me next.

real quick, last night was the winter ball at the bistro.... and it was fabulous!
everyone dressed up
we played with pipe works (the funnest children's toy ever created)
yummy cookies
yummier stew
jaron was a polar bear
readings from classical literature
lukas dancing!
and after, most of us ventured to the hensrud's and watched a documentary of the danielson familie band and ate cheese quesadillas...

last monday night i had the opportunity to talk with a couple who were homeless. it really made me sad to hear how they were treated by some people who call themselves christians. and it was harder to hear them categorize all christians with the ones they had previously dealt with.
the man proudly wore a shirt that read, "jesus hates everyone." and the lady, her name was sarah, told me she believed in God, but hated christians.
what a strong statement...
i was extremely blessed though to be able to talk with them. at the time, they were trying to get money for some beer. i was blessed to help them panhandle, and gave them a sleeping bag i had in my trooper. after many thanks, mulitple handshakes, and a hug, they were on there way to get a 4 pack, and blankets from a mission.

real people, real needs.

Father, thank You for opportunities to bless your name, even if it's secretly. please help us see others as You see them and take action to show them Your love. thank You again!
so be it

thanks for reading this, and caring for me with prayers. i am very grateful!

ugh, cough cough. i shouldn't have breathed in

i enjoy road trips! immensly... very immensly.
it really doesn't matter where to, as long as it is away from what i am used to...
especially when it is either with someone i love and to a new place, or to loved ones in an old or new place ...

my road trip on thursday was different... but turned out to be far more enjoyable than i thought possible.
partially from being spontaneous... and more so from a God who loves me

i took a drive to visit a man named doug...

i'm speechless as of now how all of this came to be
somewhere over the last few years...
probably the last few months...
God has been taking me into my heart, into the wound that is there

and bringing healing

and bringing hope

and

forgiveness.

the man named doug is my dad.

needless to say he was not there for me or any of my siblings while we grew up

needless to say, my childhood was not filled with a father example who would show me love,
encouragement, how to build a boat, teach me to survive in the wilderness, hug me with an embrace that would bring a rock warmth and the hardness of a comfortable pillow

needless to say, i didn't understand how to call anyone daddy

and needless to say, it was hard for me to understand God as my daddy... especially with all the hurt that accumilated over the years from an earthly dad.

somehow all that changed.

and somehow i found myself calling my dad shortly after i moved back to south dakota to reconcile with my mom. i suppose i thought that it was just going to be reconciliation with her. my Father in heaven had in mind a reconciliation that would not only include me to her and her to Him, but me to Him, my dad to me, and someday my sisters to my mom, and my brother to my dad... sorry for the confusion

i was willing and expecting healing with my mom, but God had a whole lot more healing for a whole lot more people!

My needs for a father is being filled by the Father.

on top of that, i was able to have a really good time with my earthly father too.

i never realized who my dad actually was. being small, immature, hyper, and never wanting to be home didn't help, along with only seeing him and my mother fight, yell, and... fight...

seeing him... seeing who he is, was good.
he is now considered mentally disabled due to a car crash he was in at the age of three, and lives in an apartment complex with others of the same disability.

his neighbor comes over and cooks him food, and they do puzzles together, as well as make trips to hallmark, and grab coffee at six in the morning before work.

i tagged along with them the morning i was there. i enjoyed a cinnamon black tea, and a cinnamon roll.

i also found out that my dad looks good in "fancy" clothes. (it may have been the tie)
he has two ancient harmonicas. he likes country music (poor guy) and cake!
while i can't relate with him on two of those, i did play with his harmonicas!
DO NOT BREATH IN WITH A DUSTY HARMONICA.
we all laughed as i choked.

whenever i said anything as a child right away my dad would make a joke. most do not understand the frustration this brings to a child. it sounds like fun and games, but jokes from birth...well

it causes all hope of serious conversations to leave. to pack up and head out the door, never saying goodbye or giving a second glance. it straight up goes far far away. who knows where.
maybe to greenland...

mongolia?

wherever it had gone to many years ago, thursday it came home.

i can see where i get my smartalek remarks, and due to some mind problems, or whatever you want to call it.... i may never have an intelligent conversation with him. we did have some nice talks though, and just being there with my dad

whom i never expected to see again

was good.

this was the first time seeing him in four years.

i can understand that the time was needed, but i hope that i never go so long before visiting any of my family again.

i pray that God will heal your heart in the ways you need it. that your family would be brought close and all reconciliation that is needed would take place. that you would not let those close to you be taken for granted, and that all of your needs would be taken care of from your Father!

amen

on the drive back up, i saw a sign that read "watch for crosswinds" i sure didn't see any...

pretty darn yellow

i heard something super innocent and cute today at work...

i was in the bathroom, and a father had his son in there.

he was helping him use the bathroom, and the little boy was making sound effects...

sound effects to his bathroom usage, as if anyone needs it, right?

well it gets better...

after the little one was done, his father told him to wait while he use the bathroom next...

as he waited, i heard him say, "prrreeeeetttttyyyyyy."

hahaha

"pretty darn yellow!" "and a pretty color yellow too!" (all said in a cute little children's voice)

he found beauty in what we would regard as waste...

pretty yellow....

either this kid really liked the color yellow, or maybe he was just so innocent that he was able to find  something neat, in something not very neat.

besides his height, he had a different point of view as he looked at yellow water...

i hope no one finds this posting too awkward or offensive, but i can't help but to smile at this experience.

it's amazing how God can cause our mouths to stretch across from ear to ear with a great big grin,        it doesn't matter where we are either.

i pray that you will find joy in a place you have never experienced it before and that God would stretch your imagination with innocence. i also pray that your heart would be at peace and filled with overwhelming memoirs of how God has blessed you recently...

In Jesus' name, amen!

...a pretty color yellow too.......!

planless

be open for change

nothing is certain

take everyday as it comes

don't waste your time worrying or feeling sorry for yourself

live life!

and

praise and thank God all the time

never ceasing

these words were spoken to my heart a while back, but continue to stand true and show themselves as needed in order to live a life for God...

in a way...       they may lead to freedom.

Father, make me part of Your plan. 

amen!

matters

for the longest time, and still quite frequently, i find myself feeling like i have to do something to earn grace or approval from my Father...

i know i'm not the only one who feels this way.

it sickens me...

but reminds me that i still need a lot of work. 

however, the short and small times that i do comprehend my Daddy's love for me, 

it's real...

i fell like i'm in a rain storm being soaked by His favor, gasping for air and dripping with joy!

there is something about the way the sun shines in the evening... i mean, the way the light falls on a neighborhood...    across a field...        or over a vast array of mountains covered in a mixture of pines 

evergreens 

and snow...

snow in itself is amazing. many say it is a bother or dreadful...

no way...

the joy of a snow day...   seeing the way it blows around in the light of a street lamp...

watching it slowly cover everything...     

i really like when i'm stuck somewhere because the roads are too dangerous to drive on. and the intensity of trying to go outside to see for myself, just to make sure i'm not dreaming. then... going back inside and knowing there is nothing i can do, but enjoy it. i really like it when the company i am with consists of at least one person i would pick to be stuck somewhere with for more than a few hours... or days...!

the snow day can really either be a huge blessing, or heck on a stick!

it may cause you to stop working, and rest.. interact with others who otherwise you would avoid... or give you a dang good reason to make something yummy, and eat as much of it as you want!!!

rest is good.

recharging is good.

trusting God is good.

and i'm thankful for all of them. i need all of them. it proves difficult to trust without the ability to rest and recharge. 

it has been a busy season in life...     i think the snow has given me a reason to rethink some things, some matters, and test what i thought was so clear. it's a good thing to do, to take a step back from ones self, and think...   speak...    and listen....      to pray.

Father, thank You for the desires You have placed in our hearts. thank You for the wisdom and freewill You give us...   and most of all, thank You for Your gift of grace and salvation You freely give us as we trust You! i praise You for all that You are! You are good! everything You do is good. everything You have made is good and for the joy of Your creation. so we praise You!

thank You for Your love!  in Your Sons name, let it be!

for by this you shall be saved, worship.

worship.