grace grows on trees too

i sit in the present with a heavy heart but a stronger hope.

i am faced with a pickle and need wisdom and clear guidance.

you have all heard my heart in the first place to come back to germany. God has given me a heart for the people, but i have school loans. sooooo... i felt a peace to come back and work among the germans and pay off the loans. thank you all for the prayers for this. i am, however faced with a difficulty that i cannot yet the light in the dark of the night. maybe hidden by a single tree that stands in the way of freedom from these financial burdens.. or a forest... or maybe many mountains are between what i hope for and where i currently am.

i haven't the slightest idea of what to do except pray. and thus forth, i ask for your prayers too!

i don't expect these loans to just disappear. and i am willing to work towards the paying back of them... gladly! i am not sure which way to go with all of this.

i have been offered a job here. and i have been seeking and trying for the work permit that i am able to stay and work. Halleluja and praise to God for the blessings of provision He has already showered on me. if i accept this job, however, the money i will be earning is soooooo little, that i would not be able to live off of it here. it would be around 320€ a month. that gives no option to pay on the loans... at all! and that makes my heart shake a bit. i do believe that this is a major priority in my life at the moment. and i will not neglect it. but God needs to be where my faith and heart stands strong, and where my hope lies.

it has come to the point of this... wherever He says to go or stay... and whatever He says must be done.... i say yes Lord.

please pray for His wisdom, guidance and grace in all of this. it is time to be debt free. and i desire to walk His path to get there!

current prayer points....

a miracle. :)

He is faithful and i... and wanna be just like Him!

Father, lead our hearts on Your path and into a deeper walk with You. blow past our expectations and give us faith in Your works. i praise You now for hearing our prayers and taking care of us sooooo well! i also pray for this world. that Your Spirit will fill every country, every heart... and freedom would break out from oppression! thank You for all that You have already done and all that You continually do, from now until forever! You are our Daddy.. and the only Holy Lord! use us for Your glory! thank You Jesus for bringing us back to Your. may we never forget it!!!

amen!

viel Liebe, israel

oh hallo.. i should have expected. i could never have expected.

more than not.. i am blown away at His faithfulness.

i am sure that He not only hears us when we pray, but has begun to fulfill His will in us before we have spoken our needs and desires.

last thursday during prayer, i felt it appropriate to visit katharina that we could have time to pray together over everything that is coming up in our lives.. i.e. me staying in germany and how the school debt will be payed off, her preparation for the Bible school in sept., His will in our relationship and our future together.

but.. i didn't have enough money for a ride there (south germany). so i decided on tramping.

it is not easy to tramp out of berlin. to.. easier, but from.. it takes time and prayer. so, that is exactly what i took. thursday, i spend the day about praying and searching a good place to stand and tramp. i found one place.. and felt a peace but excitement.

the next day, i was up early and packed before breakfast. i got to the autobahn.. and held my sign. an hour swept quickly by before i changed to the other entrance. the sun beat down, my body told me that i needed to use the bathroom.. and i prayed that when God gives me a ride.. that it would be obvious that it was from Him!

around 10.30 someone finally pulled over and let me hop in. as we discussed where exactely he was going and how much further i needed.. i was confident that we had met before.

in 2008, i stayed with the burnisons in blackhawk south dakota. it was during the time i was trying to teach myself german and before the time i heard about the dts in berlin. one day, a guy.. my age.. came by and spend time with the family.. he was from germany and was part of a program going to highschool in sturgis, then an outreach in mexico.

when my ride asked where i was from.. i said south dakota. he told me that he also spend some time there... as sure enough it was him. klemens. of all the people in germany.. 82+ million... God brought our paths together in this particular moment and showed me how wonderful His works are.. and that He hears and responds.

i was face to face with katharina before 5.30!

it was, to say the least, a beautiful weekend and i am so thankful for how God has been blessing us so from day one! yesterday, we have been together for one month already. krass, oder?

as we prayed, and even now, i am believing fest that He will provide all we need and is opening doors that He only can and leading us on His path.. in closer communion with Him and each other!

today i was in the office for foreignors wanting to stay in germany... ausländersbehörde.

they took my info.. papers.. and passport.. then told me that they will give me an extention of visa that we can get everything worked out with the working permit. this means, the ball is rolling and whatever God wants to do.. i will trust Him!

i am rather surprised... as katharina and i prayed about the school loans.. God told us that He already has the money for paying them off and is taking care of it. later i realized, if i get this permit and work as a kitchen lady.. there is no way i will be able to pay on these loans.... not enough money earned. and then i thought on how i keep getting into these situations where i have no choice but to trust Him because of where He has led me.

well.. here i am! and i known that miracle is coming.. more than one! because we live for a God who does miracles.. a God of the impossible. a God who loves us...

may our hearts be once again softened to recieve the goodness of His grace and realization of why we are here.. and who He really is.

if we can catch a glimpse of who He is.. maybe we can see who we really are.

help us see... and help us believe! oh Lord, You are greater than i knew. less us.. more reality!

viel Liebe, israel

"(from my sam in idaho... thank you sam. i love you.)

He is the reason we are, live, worship, work, everything. Its all created so we bless Him and bring Him glory. So lets do this! Lets live! Lets do what we were created for! I love you Israel. I am praying for you and the life travel He has you in. Calling the nations to worship Jesus!"

a reflection

trust comes in steps.
in january of 2009 God led me on an adventure across america with just the belongings in my backpack. the night before, the morning of and after i was dropped off and started walking.. my mind was running with fantacies of what could happen, might happen.. but never of what will happen... of how God would provide for me daily what i needed. how in every moment of distress, He would take me by the hand and lead me. how He would lead me on the path of a life full of trusting and growing. i didn't know it then, that the steps i was taking would be ones that would pave a future of continual growth, pain, fruit, uncomfort and blessings.

some days are easier than others...
sometimes it doesn't make any sense.
but then some days.. even the way the wind blows seems in order.

i am thankful that He only gives us what we can handle.. that we won't die from an over load of blessings or sorrows.. i am thankful that He continues to take time over and over again to show us that He is faithful and can be trusted even though we forget or choose to look to logic or compare to others.. i am thankful that who we are, what we do or how we act could never.. NEVER.. earn His love and that it is a present, a gift.. a gift paid for with extreme selflessness... a choice that would forever carve out a new thinking and mentality of what real love is.. i am thankful for how He does things, that His order of events and seemingly planned out blessings take us further along the steep and tiring trail to a deeper trust, deeper love and more meaningful relationship with Him and others.. i am thankful that we are not alone.. i am thankful that i am not alone.

over the weekend i witnessed a new pair of hands unite to work for the kingdom. a man and woman who were made for each other devote their lives to loving the other in the same deepness as our Father has loved us. it was the most beautiful wedding i have witnessed.
probably the joy that hits the hardest is knowing that miriam and daniel will, for the rest of their lives, have their hands to a large plow that was forged together from two smaller plows. the work they do will be in the fullness of two children of God giving 100%... and when one set of hands is weak, the other is there to lift them back to the plow. what God brings together nothing can separate. their bond is Jesus. and His love is permanent!
thank You Father for such a gift as marriage. and though it has been such a sour taste in the mouths of so many.. the reflection of how You love us.. still.. brings new hope.

sunday i joyfully drove with katharina (meine Freundin!) and jonathan to a junction where i would hitch north as they drive south.. where she and i would be once again only seperated by a chunk of land until the time that God brings us together again.
after they dropped me off and i walked to where i would wait a selected amount of time for a ride from a complete stranger to berlin.. i decided to count the cars...
1... 2....

3....
4... 5... 6!
three guys coming back from austria picked me up and we spoke for the first 50 km about why i am here and what my life lived for God looks like. we shared a bit of food.. then 300 km later, i was dropped off in berlin. as i was walking to the ring bahn, i heard a couple speaking english and they sounded confused. after a short debate and a couple obvious looks of concern towards them, i asked them what they were looking for. i took them to the ring bahn and we spoke on the way about what each of us were doing here.. and as i mentioned youth with a mission, the man said, 'YWAM.' it turned out that they too are missionaries from oregon. ha! the man spoke in a confence and they are berlin for a couple days. i helped them get tickets, told them short directions and gave them my name and number. it was suprisingly so encouraging to speak with them though it was so short. i am not alone.

as for an official update... tomorrow is the last day of my german course.
over the last couple weeks, i have been looking to get involved in some sort of team ministries but have been deeply disappointed thus far. i do know, however, that He will lead me on His path.
i am still praying for a mentor.
last week i tried out for a job and they would like to hire me. it is at a christian school.. i am a kitchen lady! hehe.. we are now trying to get things sorted out for a visa and working permit. please pray that things will go smoothly.
finances at the present are low but i am so stoked on His provision.
and.. i am really wondering about these school loans.. and trusting God for the opportunity to pay them back.. soon and quickly!
He is leading me into some big steps which are leaving me in His hands for timing, wisdom and grace.
this sunday, katharina and i are together one month.. HEHEHEHE! God has already blessed us so much.. but with these blessings has come several opportunities for growth. i know that God is with us in these times and forever more. Er ist immer bei uns.

may it come to be that all He has planned is completed with the fullness of His glory in you.
and please pray for all those who are taking the steps of faith and trusting in Him.. that they will not give up. that they will never give up!

thank you for your prayers!
gesegnet, israel