Vaterherz Gottes

every donnerstag/thursday we go to gorlitzer park in kreuzberg.
it is a super good time and tonight was the best yet.

jullian got to hang out with a bunch of people ranging from homeless to drug dealers.
michael and i made new friends as we played swedish chess... and others sang some worship.

but this didn't compare with the best part of the day...

this morning, the guys in the wg/flat/apartment woke up late, so we all missed breakfast. we had quiet time and joined with the others for worship before lectures started.
the topic of the week is Father heart of God... and had left me frustrated because though i know He loves me, i have yet to have a revelation of it in my life.
but as worship happened, i found myself mad and frustrated. i wanted everyone to be zip-it and go away... i kept thinking how worthless i felt in the kingdom of God and just wanted to leave.
and as worship ended i was crying from my frustration.

a couple days ago, i spend some time with God in a nearby park. as i walked around i saw a man for the third time since i had been there. so i decided to try to talk to him. i could not understand his german and mostly just laughed as if i understood... i asked if he had hunger and gave him a granola bar. we eventually parted and after a while, i realized i didn't ask him if he wanted to pray. deciding that maybe i spaced it for a reason, i kept walking and made my way to the street. i saw a man on a bench and asked how he was. as we started talking, i found out that he was in the ddr and by his attitude and words, didn't understand why following God was worth anything. as i tried to explain, i felt like i was trying to sell him something.... something i wouldn't even buy... it was super frustrating.

so as worship ended, tears were dropping to the floor and i didn't know why i was even trying...
ever attempt to tell people about Jesus, God or anything worth dying for just ended in frustration on my end. it never felt like anyone cared to hear what i had to say.
i felt like a failure...
as lectures started... i didn't move. i sat on the couch and cried.
eventually erik.... mein klein gruppe leider came over and put his arm around me.
after much time, i finally emptied my nose from all the tear influenced snot that now blocked the airway and served as a distracter to everyone everytime i sucked in air... and just sat and listened.

break eventually came and i joined the others for tea and snacks... i talked with toby and ron(the speaker for the week) about what happened. they both encouraged me to ask God what has been blocking me, or what lie have i been believing that has been keeping me from really feeling God's love....
i agreed and walked away feeling the same as before, but now with curiosity of what it could be...
i walked into the bathroom... sat down... and it hit me....
the lie...

the lie that i had adopted as truth...

tears build up in my eyes and instantly i started understanding why i felt so worthless... on top of loads of other things...

i exited the bathroom and pulled ron aside... explained to him what happened.... and just stood there...
maybe out of awkwardness...he began to pray.
we prayed against the lie... and thanked Him for bringing it to surface...
and after... i walked to the otherside of the room.... sat on the couch... and cried...
but they were different tears this time...
for the first time... i understood that God loves me... and called Him Daddy with all my heart.

it is by far the best thing that has happened yet on this dts...

thank You Father...

i pray and ask God to shower you with His love like He did to me today... and i pray that it will continue... and increase as you humble yourself in His majesty...

thank you for hearing my heart and for all of your prayers.

thank you all who have blessed me with finaces or other things over the past couple weeks...
and thank you all who continue to love everyone they come in contact with...

may your hearts be broked for the broked world you live in.


on a whole other note....

outreach is decided...

Nicaragua.

it is not what any of us had expected, but better than we could have asked for.
we are all learning spanish and praying for guidance as we prepare for this opportunity to trust and spread God's hugs!

and what another great opportunity to see God change our faith levels...
outreach is going to cost between 1600-2200 euros... and i still owe over half for tuition of the lecture phase....
so...
i need your help.
obviously we are not all in the situation to give...
pray.
tell others...
say...'hey, i got this cool person in doing a dts but is broke.... wanna hook him up?'...
you are all a huge blessing to me and i thank you for caring enough to endure these blogs...
please continue to pray. your prayers are being answered... daily.
if you can give, i encourage you to do so.
i know many say that God will bless those who reach out in faith and help others....
well....
HE DOES!
so step out.
even if it's not giving to me...
step out and trust Him. bless others.. and build His kingdom in whatever way you are good at.
you are a valuable part of His kingdom... an irreplaceable person.

i still owe 1000 euros for lecture phase... which comes out to about 1400 usd.
outreach is 1600-2200 euros which is... 2200-3000 usd.

you can send money to my mothers place...

israel boyce
3741 canyon lake dr. 2-307
rapid city, SD
57702

and of course everything else to...

israel boyce
c/o JMEM berlin
sandino strasse
13055 Berlin Germany


i will end with one more story....

this last week, the topic was cross, sin and repentance...
we had five speakers come in from england... a team...
that wednesday we had food made up and found out they were not eating with us... so we had a load of food that was mouth watering... and not enough people to eat it.... so we all decided to go outside and invite people to come and eat...
the first person we saw.. and asked turned us down... but a little later, someone else asked invited him and he went home, dropped off his dog, and got his wife... he mentioned how he thought we were only kidding when we asked him the first time...
we had seven people join us for dinner...
3 kinder, a young couple.. and the man and his wife..
it was super good.
we saw the man again today walking His dog...

Gott ist gut!

viel spaß (have fun)

israel